President Obama Signs Historic “Chicken in Every Pot” Bill

April 1, 2011

Barack Obama and the White House Press Secreta...

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April 1, 2011. White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced that President Barack Obama will sign SB 20101010 today, informally but accurately known as the “Chicken in Every Pot” Bill. The historic legislation will give every American family one chicken for every pot that they own.

When asked why giving out chickens was going to help, the President replied, “Look, how hard is this? I love chicken, my girls love chicken, my grandmother loved chicken. It’s the ultimate statement of being American. The purpose of this bill is to solve the fiscal crisis, but it’s also supporting good old American values and creativity. Americans are the most creative people on the planet, and they do their best thinking sitting around the table with friends. So here’s how this works. We encourage everyone to invite the neighbors over to share in a big old chicken dinner, and to use that time to discuss just how in the heck we might solve this crisis. And that’s even before the jobs that will be created by carrying out the legislation.”

$224 billion is slated for the bill. There are approximately 112 million households in the US, with an estimated 4 pots each. Cost of the chickens will be $500 each, which includes setting up the infrastructure to gather data on household chicken allowances, and a new agency to distribute chickens and to police chicken fraud. The US military budget will be halved to pay for the bill. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates response was, “What the @#$#!”

Surprisingly, the populist bill has some detractors who claim is it is regressive legislation, since the wealthy will likely have more pots per household, and therefore qualify for more chickens. “That’s faulty logic,” Obama stated. “For one thing, those folks are paying more than their share in taxes, plus if we didn’t have all these wealthy people, who could the rest of us work for? Did you ever think about that? Their chickens and chicken dinners will undoubtedly trickle down to everyone else. It’s win-win.”

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Gail Storey April 2, 2011 at 3:31 pm

Marilyn, a fun April Fool’s post! And I love the “Money–Can we talk” line at the top of your blog. Hope to see you at a BMW event!

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Laurel Kallenbach April 3, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Hilarious! Thanks for keeping it light…and real! Hope to meet you someday soon at writing group!

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